Books and Reading

Greetings! Lol.
Ever since i started working, i feel like i’m so exhausted with work, chores at home and catching up with friends and family. But don’t get me wrong, i’m loving it. Though because of this, reading has been my sleeping companion. Since i’m tired when i get home, i read so that i can get to dreamland easier. Lol. So i haven’t done any good reading lately. And i miss it. Now that i kinda have the luxury of time, i just couldn’t get into the mood. Argh. What happened. Lol.

Another point this post intend to state is my odd addiction to purchasing books. I’m guilty of buying books even i haven’t finish any of the ones i bought a week earlier. I’m guilty that even though i don’t have time to read them, i still want to have them. I’m guilty of going to book sales, fairs, or bazaars and purchase books, i “think”, i would love to read. I’m used to being impulsive and fickle-minded at the same time. That’s me, i guess.

Say hello to my babies! 

My Twilight Saga set with the Paulo Coelho's and Nicholas Sparks'

Here are the Pinoy Lits. I'm missing Para Kay B by Ricky Lee

The ones from Sales/Bazaars/Fairs

Good finds and good reads! *othersLOL

Borrowed books! *to the owners, i promise to return them! forgive me.

Some of my favsss!

and here are the new ones, bought them awhile ago at Bookay Ukay! :)

Obviously...

Hopefully, i'll be able to get into the vibe of reading again. ♥

One Gloomy Night

April 03, 2012

i really don't feel great tonight.

My mind and heart is so full. full of crap, worries, paranoia and anxiety. what makes it worse is that i really don't get it. Why do i feel this way? what makes me worry this much. what makes me feel this way? i don’t know if i am sad, or am i anxious or may be overwhelmed. or might as well, scared. but what i really hope is that whatever this feeling is, hoped it was something specific, definite. but no, it has to be this difficult to understand. it would be easier to think that I’m just sad because of graduation and stuff. but it's more than that. i just know.

really, i don't know if it's just me, or the fact that i've not taken bath for days. or because i miss my friends, or is it because i was afraid of the future. of career and responsibility. or is it because even i have this awesome friends it doesn't actually wave away the solitude i fear to feel. that even though i have this lovely friends, i still feel unwanted. still feel insecure. still feel alone. or maybe because of too much suicidal movies, or this Japanese goth movie titled "confessions" that made me realize how easy to lose life. how easy for others to kill, even kill themselves. all we need is drama. or maybe these books of Paulo Coelho. in his "Veronika Decides to die", he made me realize that life's been a routine. and we must hate it. that life is more or less about living it in a crazier and not safe way. that really, life always has its flaw. also in his book "Devil and Miss Prym" , which made me realize that being good is always mistaken as pretentious and trying to live life in a safe path. that even in this book, they see that sticking to what is familiar is being coward. which i guess, makes me coward too. to think of it, there's so many things to be frustrated about. to be lonely of.

but tonight, i feel this clog in my chest again. i feel nauseous and tears starts to fall. i'm scared to go to dreamland.. i fear that when i go to sleep, there's a chance that all this uneasy feelings will reflect to my dreams. thinking that i have to bear with all this anxiety that makes me nauseous during my sleep makes me scared even more.

Lately, i've been feeling all this. i don't know why. and now, i'm afraid.