Film: The Butterfly Effect 2004

"The Butterfly Effect" is a drama thriller film which title refers to a chaos theory that says that even something small could make a huge effect. Starring Ashton Kutcher as Evan Treborn and Logan Lerman as the 7 years old Evan.
The story of this film revolve in the special mental ability of Evan Treborn to get back to the past. I would honestly say that this is one of the best Science Fiction film i've seen. and the 3 men who act as Evan Treborn was really great.
first, Evan didn't know the ability he has. He thought that it was just like the blackouts his father had. His dad was in a mental institution because of this said blackouts. Evan though used this special gift to make his friends and love ones lives better. He reads this journal to get back in time where he had this blackouts. then later in the story he'll discover that he can use other medium to get back in the past.
every time he change something in the past the future changes too. i love how each scene compliments each other. its like a puzzle movie then suddenly it was not. it was full of different stories. there were scenes that are disturbing. but this thriller film was more of a psychological and mental suspense film. i was like so into the movie i couldn't get my eyes of the screen.

They say that this film have alternative endings. i love the ending where after everything, they meet again and finally Evan could start a new normal life with the person she saved and always loved.
here are nice quotes from the film:
  • Dr. Redfield: Just think of your mind as a movie, you can pause, rewind or slow down any details you want.
  • Jason Treborn: you can't play God, son.
  • Evan: you were once happy... with me.

Poetry: What Matters

What Matters
by Janina

when it comes to this guy
i don't really know if it's real or not
what matters, i guess.
is how he made me feel.

Regardless of the reason.
Whether it's a lie or it is true
What matters for me
is how he took effort
took chances
to make me feel loved.

Inside, i don't really know why
but it seems that
he's my devil in disguise

he makes me smile
yet he still made me cry
he taps my head when i'm sad
yet he still needs my help

but i wonder if it's real or not
did he pretended to love me?
what would he gain from it?
was that a fake confession?
again, what would he gain from it?
had he been bluffing when he said "mahal kita"

Beyond that.
Whether it is real or not.
At the end of the day.
even though love had ended for us.
years ago.
I wouldn't deny.

He made me feel loved.


Good Newsss

today's actually the Philippine's Independence Day and not that it connects to the occasion today, i've received a lot of good news and some ump! moments happened. it's just so amazing. honestly, lately i feel like my bursting and overflowing inspiration and dreams are starting to fade. it has been over 2 months after my graduation but i'm still not up for the job hunting phase of my life, most likely, because i'm trying to manage our house since my father just left for work and now stays at Saudi. my brother and mother are also working.and i still have a younger brother who is really my concern at the moment. My intention for now is to help pacify things here at home. like household chores, Regi's needs and other stuff. it's like i'm in the middle of trying to look for a job (mainly because i must) and trying not to book a job. it was a damn hard line to walk. well, today my agam-agam became bigger but i'm glad about it. :)

so the good news ei.
  • Received a call from an office looking for a Digital Marketing Assistant (as far as i could remember) well, they wanted to know if i'm up for an interview which is to be scheduled. Well, one crazy thing about this call, is the office i'm talking about is my own Alma Mater where in fact i never submitted an application. I was surprised with the call yet happy to have received such offer. 
  • While watching a late TV Series i was also arranging some files. or might as well, some eme eme literature i made. then a commercial pops out, calling aspiring writers to join a free script writing seminar which application can be done on line. yes, im planning on submitting. :]
  • and some other more personal good news. :D
  • and those ump! moments i said earlier that i couldn't elaborate more. lol.
i'm still trying to figure things out. Honestly, I'm afraid to commit mistakes. so im taking it slowly but surely. I'm not as tough as others think of me. I have this crazy thoughts going on and on everyday. but as long as i know that there's my family and friends who support me no matter how bummer i am makes me move forward each freaking day. :D

Thank you Lord! (• ε •)

Undying love for Kare Kano

here are some of the favorite/memorable quotes from early chapters of the manga. :) posted: March 2010 from my old facebook account.

this are loving and heart pounding lines from the most romantic..
and funny anime love story ever told.. =]
there are so many but i only got few.. =))
i just love arima and miyasawa..
i envy how true and honest their love is.. =)

if there are meetings, then there are also partings too..

a single day in high-school is far more precious than a month is in adulthood..

i just had insults added to injuries...

Laughter, anger worries love friendship competitiveness growth and degeneration:
all these emotions are packed within the doors of a classroom...

if a can't take care of this then i won't succeed in the real world..

i feel relaxed and feel so good...
the shape of the person i love, his weight, his warmth..
it fills my whole body with happiness...
i don't need anything else,
i never knew there were such serenity...13

just the smell of him makes me completely helpless.=17.1

i suddenly feel incomplete when he's not around..=17.1

you're supposed to lose your emotional balance when you fall inlove..
you've met someone who makes you lose your emotional balance that's why they call it stealing your heart.. =maho.17.1

Love is strange, in your heart it has no shape or no weight..
you can't measure it's size or dept.. no one has ever actually seen it..
but it aches without a doubt..

in the end, i like it the best when i'm with you..17

a brand new emotion bloomed with in me.. it spread all through out me..
and took over my body..
his love is so strong, i can't even breath.. is this even possible??
i've fallen in love all over again with the same person..17

i won't let you go.. i don't care if you avoid me or hate me..
how long do you think i waited for you to notice me?!! don't you get it?!
i don't care how you feel about me, i have absolutely no intention of letting you go..17

im sorry i scared you.. i didn't mean to..
i didn't wanna touched you because i'm too embarrassed,
i didn't wanna look you in the eyes because i didn't know what i might do..
when i first saw you yesterday, i realized that i was even more in love with you..
my hearts starts pounding when i'm near you..17

a very precious person says that i'm very precious to her.. that's enough for me..18

this eyes, hands, lips, everything..exist only to experience you.. 18

our bodies haven't touch yet but our souls are definitely touching..18

her light brown hair, her gorgeous eyes, her sweet lips, her thin neck
her warm and soft body..18

we don't have many moments happy as i won't forget..
no matter how much time passes or how much we aged..
i'll remember..

"i won't let you go.. i don't care if you avoid me or hate me.. how long do you think i waited for you to notice me?!! don't you get it?! i don't care how you feel about me, i have absolutely no intention of letting you go.." episode17. =)we don't have many moments happy as i won't forget.. no matter how much time passes or how much we aged.. i'll remember..

♥ ♥ ♥

Poetry: Untitled

found this so-long-ago-poem i wrote. well, it speaks for itself. i can't elaborate more on how hard it was for me to get over past relationships but one thing is for sure: past is past. wheew. i'm so melodramatic. honestly, my experiences are my inspiration in everything that i do. in this case, in what i write. every time i write about moving on and failed relationship, i always - always - look back to THAT specific experience in my life, (for now). but it doesn't mean that i still have unresolved feeling towards the person involve, the pain i felt from it before is a nice piece of inspiration. (nagpapaliwanag? haha)

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
by Janina

I wanna stop digging into the past
Remembering you along with the flash backs
Of my happy yesterday, our blissful memories

Because every time I do thought of you
Your graceful acts and bittersweet smiles
I usually feel guilty of my blunders
The regrettable feeling I can’t bear with
It makes me want to bury myself alive.
But, it just left me crying
The remorseful sentiment caused by
My reminiscing haunts and torments me.

I wasn't feeling bad for the memories
I’m wishing to feel again 

But I mostly feel worse for
Is all the chance I had that I just let go.

It was stupid to want him now.
When I hadn't done any thing
to make him stay before.
When I had all the chance.
When he was still mine.

My frailty betrayed me.
I was too weak to fight for our love
Too weak to even fight for him
But if I’m courage enough to beg and plead
- Not to fight –
Would it be worth the try?
But what if I’m strong and firm enough
To battle for my genuine love for him,
Would it be a trashy – worthless effort to grapple?
On the weak echo of his confuse love?

It’s too late now.
To ask about the how-it-might-have-beens
I reminded myself so that I won’t hope for answers
That would hurt and burden me more.
Those unspoken and imperceptible words
Is what I wanted to keep with me,
Of every single day of my weaken life.

I’d lie to myself when I said
“I’ll be happy of whatever makes you happy,
No matter what it cost me”
It was a pathetic move to calm myself
From denial of my brittleness
I would be pretending again
That I am happy with a smile.
My giggles and sunny grin never failed me.
It kept behind the cryptic sorrow
Planted deeply and permanently in me.

Does my letting go made him happy?
It should be. If it doesn't,
What would be the sense of
damnation to my faults?
The gist of being noble?
And the pretentious smile I’d tried to bear,
If he’ll just be hurt.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Highschool and all.

I got this note entry from my old facebook account and now that i'm rereading all this is what inspires me to write a blog about our friendship and all. POSTED:  March 22 2010

my MATCHLESS and INSANE friends.
haha. (can't find enough words to describe them.)

i love them for who they are...

*erratically SWEET..(haha.)

*peace loving.. ♥

*playful and extreme.??

*adventurous!! =)

*daring.. (and charming na din)

*generous..(anu, alak pa??!)

*obedient? and honest??

*talented!! haha.. (try nio sumayaw sa bus!)

we never need to pretend.
my friendship with them is unchangeable by time.
(haha. sweet.) priceless.

well, it all started here:

most especially here:

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

i miss you all.lab lab you guys..
(get ready for summer vacation!! haha!!)